“Words are containers for power, you choose what kind of power they carry.” Joyce Meyer

Life isn’t always easy! Growing up as children we often experience how mean other children can be.  Life on the playground can be hard when teams get formed and players get picked (or not).  When you get selected to be the team captain who then gets to pick who you want on your side, you feel like your king of the world.

Being Captain

As the captain, you’re the one that heard those around you call your name as the one who gets to decide who else gets to be part of the team.  You’re the one everyone is looking at as the one who builds the team that will win the game.  You’re the one everyone is looking at as the one who will pick them.  You’re the one who gets to use the words “I pick……” and as a result make someone else feel important.

But! As the pool of children who remain unselected gets smaller and smaller, so does the number of people that have the talent to make the team win.  And so does the number of people who are liked by the team captain or those who have already been picked.  The deeper you go in the “playground” draft the reality is that children tend to see less “value” in the remaining draft picks.  At some point the selection process moves becoming who do I like and who can help us when to who will hurt us the least and who do I not like. Hearing the words “I pick you” makes us feel a sense of value, but not hearing those words has the opposite effect of making the leftovers feel unvalued.

Being Branded

Through the process of picking and choosing, children communicate to each other who’s “in” and who’s “out”.  It’s also through this time that the chosen and unchosen begin to get “classified” and “branded”.  The words used in the branding process will have an impact upon those being branded as well as the world around them.  These words have the potential to become part of the fabric of someone’s being and how they view themselves.  These words have the potential to impact how a person lives out their life.

The Lie

When a child hears mean words spoken to them by another child, we commonly hear someone tell that child “sticks and stones may break my bones, but word will never hurt me”.  This is probably one of the worst lies we can tell a child, because its not true!  Words matter!  Words have the ability to lift up and tear down.  Words have the ability to express value.  The damage a negative word does to someone impacts them at the deepest level, and unlike a broken bone they don’t always heal.

Just like the words of one child to another on the play ground, so are the words of a leader.  Mean leaders use words in hateful ways that damage those under their charge.  These words create hateful environments in which it’s not safe for followers to grow and reach their maximum potential.  These words foster toxic work environments that suppress and tear down.

Creating Value

Good leaders recognize their words have the ability to create a positive culture in which people feel safe and can reach their maximum potential.  Good leaders recognize their words can soothe old wounds and build people up.  Good leaders understand their words communicate value to those around them.

“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you may stick with someone for a lifetime.” Rachael Wolchin

Today: intentionally and genuinely express to someone around you the positive you see in them.  Make the effort to build value into someone with the words.