“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.” Roy T. Bennett

Merriam-Webster defines empathy as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.”  In the definition is the word “action” which means you must do something intentionally.

One of our greatest needs as humans is the feeling of being understood.  Having empathy for someone doesn’t automatically mean that you agree with someone’s position on an issue, or even their behavior.  But it does mean that you must take the time to understand what is going on and how the other person in the equation is feeling.

In the hurry of trying to do life, it’s easy for you to get caught up in the emotions and pressures that lead each of us to come to conclusions about others quickly. Unforntunately, you can do this without a deep level of understanding.  This can be even more pronounced in the fire service when your “tribe” is spread across multiple shifts and multiple stations.

You see and hear things that often get taken out of context and misunderstood as you pass each other at shift change or during an incident.  You can make assumptions based upon an “I heard” that gets shared at the dinner table.

By making an intentional effort to understand others (patients and co-workers), you build positivity, trust, and inclusion into the environment.  This requires that you ask questions with an intent to hear what others are saying, and not an intent to get a point across.

My encouragement is to intentionally identify someone that you may have “heard” something about and get to know them a little better.  Take the time to understand them and see their perspective, even if you don’t agree with their thoughts and beliefs.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia